Updated: Feb 16
"And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul." Genesis 2:7
Illness can come like a thief in the night, sudden and without warning. I experienced this on a cold winter's night in early December. I was on a FaceTime call with my grandkids when I felt my face go flush and watched my cheeks turn pink. Suddenly, I had a fever. I got hit with C-19, hard and fast!
Day after day, my body ached and my head burned with a fever. Thankfully, I was able to work with some online doctors who were willing treat me with therapeutics to go along with the long line up of vitamins and minerals I was taking to help my healing along.
Unfortunately, by day 10 things took a turn for the worst. My breathing became very, very difficult. The oxygen would not go down into my lungs. It felt like my airways were closing up tight. Panic began to set in!
A couple days prior I had checked in with my doctor because I was not improving. He made the decision to add a couple more therapeutics to the mix. The problem - they had not yet arrived. I was in trouble! I called my husband home from work. I could no longer do this alone. He came home to my bedside and struggled with me over the next several long hours while we waited for the meds to come. He was strong and confident that I would be alright. Yet, I could see the fear in his eyes too.
I laid on my stomach taking one breath at a time, crying out to God for help. I alternated between kneeling on my bed with my head lower than my hips to help open my airways, to laying flat on my belly. One moment feeling some relief, the next, short, shallow breaths returned. I wondered how long I could go like this and if death was indeed at my door. I have never experienced such terror in my life. As I lay there desperately trying to get air into my lungs, I recited Psalm 23 over and over. "He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads beside quiet waters. He RESTORES my soul."
All that I could think about was my family and how I was not ready to leave them. Breath by breath, I fought as fear and panic pursued me. Finally, at 3 p.m. on this freezing cold winter's day, the FedEx truck pulled up to our driveway and with it came the meds I so desperately needed.
I will never forget those first breaths from the nebulizer and how it felt for my airway to open up. A little more with each breath, allowing the life giving breath to go deeper into my lungs. God's breath....in......out. God's breath once again filling me with life!
Healing came slowly. Healing continues. Almost a month into this and I still tire more easily. But, how thankful I am!
God truly is our breath of life.
"The Spirit of God has made me. And the breath of the Almighty gives me life." Job 33:4
I find it interesting that this illness struck me exactly one month to the day of starting this new blog adventure. I am not surprised. We know where this onslaught came from. "his" (I refuse to honor him with a capital letter here) intent is always to rob, steal and destroy. But, he does not get the final say, nor determine the outcome! That belongs to our Mighty, Powerful God.
Are you weary, friend? Do you feel like you are gasping for breath? Are the struggles of this life choking out the very breath of God?
Breathe deep. Inhale God's goodness. Exhale all of your fear. Inhale deep His love. Exhale out all your worry and doubt. He is close. So very, very close. He will never leave you on your own. Breathe deep and trust Him more with every breath.